Gertrude
and Rudolf
Once upon a time
there was a king called Rudolf who lived in a fine castle
with his queen Gertrude. Now Gertrude could never agree on
anything. If Gertrude said, "It's a nice day, "Rudolf
would have to argue, "It's too hot." If Rudolf said,
"The sun is bright," then Gertrude would say, "That's
the moon, stupid!"
Gertrude and Rudolf couldn't even agree on their royal robes.
Rudolf always wore fine, kingly red robes ... so Gertrude
just had to wear everything green. Even her shoes and socks
were green. Her crown and her gloves and her knickers were
green. In time the people came to call her Gertrude the Green!
One winter day
Gertrude was looking out of the palace window and hoping for
snow. She had a bet with Rudolf that it would snow. Dark clouds
gathered in the sky and it started to sleet. "Snow!"
Gertrude the Green gloated. "You owe me a fiver, Rudolf!"
Rudolf looked
through the window at the sleet and said, "That's rain!"
Gertrude said,
"It's snow!"
Rudolf said, "It's
rain!"
Gertrude grabbed
the king by the front of his red robes and hisses in his red
face, "S-n-o-w. Snow! SNOW! SNOW! That is snow dear husband.
And Gertrude the Green knows snow, dear!"
Rudolf grinned
and said, "Ah, but Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!"
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Did You Know?
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS STICKER BOOK 
