The Bodysnatcher's Song

When your granny kicks the bucket in her bed,
Let the poor old lady rest her tired head.
When your granny is deceased, Just let her rest in peace,
And don't dig up your granny when she's dead.

I tried to sell my granny for a profit;
I thought I'd buy a lot of food and scoff it.
I should have used my head; I should have stayed in bed.
Cos did I make a profit? Oh, come off it!

I went into the churchyard, I felt bold.
The tombstones told of victims, young and old.
I thought I'd make five pounds, for some digging in the grounds,
But all I ever got there was a cold.

I had the chance of riches, but I blew it.
I never got the breaks - I should have knew it.
My mum and dad were smart - they'd got six hours start;
The rotten greedy turnips beat me to it.

So, sell your Auntie Liz or Uncle Ned;
It'll serve them right for the wicked life they've led.
But when Granny's six foot deep, let her have her well-earned sleep,
And don't dig up your granny when she's dead.

When your granny kicks the bucket in her bed,
Let the poor old lady rest her tired head.
When your granny is deceased, Just let her rest in peace,
And don't dig up your granny when she's dead.