CLUB HOUSE.

HOW TO WRITE YOUR VERY OWN BOOK!

TEN NEW HINTS on "HOW TO WRITE A BOOK"

1. Think of your readers. Repeat after me: "Writers don't matter, readers matter". Always remember that you have to get their attention and entertain them. You are not writing for your own entertainment. Writing is communication - communication takes two.
2. Characters matter. "Plot" is what happens. "Characters" are the people it happens to. And characters are ten times more important than plot. Readers and writers have to care about what happens to those people. Love your characters.
3. Let speech tell the story. Through "dialogue" (characters talking) you can tell a story and let us into your characters' thoughts. Don't be tempted to describe too much. The reader can fill in a lot.
4. Entertain. The cleverest idea in the world is worthless if no one can be bothered to read it. Use surprise and suspense and humour and action.
5. Plan - but not too much. Forget school lessons that tell you to "plan, then write then re-write and rewrite again." The best stories are the ones that flow. Don't be afraid to abandon a plan. If a character takes over your story then follow and see where they lead you.
6. Enjoy writing. If you don't enjoy writing don't do it. The enjoyment you get will show in the writing and the reader will enjoy it too. It helps if you love words and language and the power they contain.
7. Read books. You need to know what people are reading (and enjoying) in the area you want to write for. Read the 'opposition and learn' - but don't copy.
8. Don't live in books. Life is fascinating. To be a writer you have to live it. You need experience of people in the real world. You don't become a writer by burying yourself in a library. Get a life.
9. Try. No one can teach you to write well. Teachers can only teach you to write accurately - not the same thing at all. The only way to find out if you're a writer is to try it. Experiment and explore, abandon failures and try again.
10. Break the rules. The rules above are useful . but all the best writers break the rules when they feel like it. Set your writing free of rules. Be yourself.
    
    And the extra "Top 5" hints for horrible historians ...
    
    
11. Know what you are aiming for. The secret of writing a Horrible History is to remember you are NOT trying to TEACH anybody about HISTORY. You are aiming to teach them about the way human beings behave. So DATES DON'T MATTER! People matter.
12. Finding your facts. Find your facts from the World Wide Web - or from libraries, but that sometimes means you do a lot of reading of a lot of very boring stuff before you get to the interesting stories.
13. Selecting the facts: Find a story that grabs you - is it weird? Or cruel? Or funny? Or sad? Ask yourself: "Would anyone else be interested in this fact?" If the answer is "NO" then bin it. If the answer is "Yes" then think about how to present it.
14. Presenting the facts. How will you present the fact? As if you were a newspaper reporter? As the diary of someone involved? As a recipe? An official report? A cartoon? As a radio or television report? As a letter from someone there at the time? As an advert? As an adventure story. ANYTHING ... except as an essay for your history teacher!
15. Test your tale. Write it out and then send it to a friend.

Remember ... if no one else reads it then you may as well not write it. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, they say - and the proof of the writing is in the reading.